Thoughts

Today seemed like an ordinary day of routine. I think I'm getting used to this temporary lifestyle of a pregnant mama. Wake up next to husband (ahh) -- cook something small for breakfast -- get ready for work -- beat street traffic to get to work -- work -- pee -- work -- hydrate -- snack on cereal -- work -- lunch -- pee -- avoid comatose after lunch -- pee -- work -- bear tension headache -- work -- go home. Even though routine can be boring, I at least have fulfillment w/ my job. I love the people I work with and am unsure of how things will go after I give our baby birth. Will I return? Will I work part-time? Will my company hire a babysitter for me and 2 new mamas of the company?

So many decisions and I want to do what's best for me and my new family. I rather stay home and take care of our baby than to work work work.

I missed out having a relationship w/ my parents growing up b/c they both had to work to support the family. I was left w/ caretakers. We were so poor at the start. Now I conciously have to force myself to love my parents b/c they are my parents. It's hard to build a foundation of affection when there was little to begin w/. The more powerful memories I had as a child were negative from unfair discipline -- or discipline w/o a cause which can easily be mistaken for abuse in our society's now-PC world. Sometimes I feel adopted...and I don't want my kids to turn out emotionally neglected like me. I need to be home most of the time so they could have a mom. Well -- enough of this bitter soapbox.

Yesterday, we heard the baby's heartbeat again, but this time it was slightly slower than the first time we heard it from the doptone. Maybe as the baby gets larger, the heart is supposed to beat slower. That was a fun day. I also was excused from paying that large bill, which was accidentally sent to me instead of the insurance company -- phew!! I also got a whole bunch of shots in one arm: flu shot, tb shot, and blood drawn for amniocentisis (sp?). Right now my left arm is sore from one of those needles. She said that word again: "terminate". Even if the test says my baby has problems I can't trust it b/c it's 85% accurate -- not 99% or higher. I'm already attached to his/her heartbeat. God wants my baby to live.

WEIGHT: 156 LBS
BELLY-H: 36-3/4"
BELLY-V: 14-1/2"
WAIST: 33-1/4"
BOOBS-H: 36-3/4"
BOOBS-V: 13"